Eulogizing an African American Man Who Embraced Fatherhood

I only met “Papa Paul” Harris once. But over the course of a three hour-long visit a month and a half before he took his last breath I immediately recognized the man recently eulogized by his family and friends.

Papa Paul was a hard-working, stern but loving family man who always sat in the same church pew.

Until I attended his funeral, I did not know everyone called him Papa Paul. I just knew him as Paul, my client’s stepfather. But Paul was quick to reject the qualification “step.” He was simply father to my client, his two brothers, and my client’s oldest son.

My client knew his real father but recognized that the only father who had been a constant presence in his life was Paul.

Much has been written about the absence of fathers in African American households. There are many factors contributing to this family crisis, not the least being that our criminal justice system disproportionately targets men and boys of color -- many of whom are fathers.

As I sat in the church where Papa Paul worshiped -- a church started by one of his sons -- I was struck by the number of men, young and old, who stood and reminisced about Paul’s friendship, family ties, and mentorship. I was particularly struck by the heartfelt words of one tall, lacky young man who admitted through tears that he had not been to church in years but came that day to honor the man who’d befriended and mentored him and, most importantly, been a father to him.

In that moment, I couldn’t help being struck by the fact that two days after Rep. John Lewis had been eulogized by three former presidents, yet another good man had lost his battle with cancer. While Rep. Lewis left a large footprint in the struggle for civil rights in this country, Papa Paul left his own equally large footprint by being a father to those who would not otherwise have had one. Rest in peace Papa Paul.

Image sketch drawn by Ina R. Silvergleid